I hear this a lot from non-biological mothers: “My name’s on the birth certificate, so I’m all set, right? Right?” Nope, sorry. That’s not how it works.
Yes two married moms can both get their names listed on their child’s birth certificate here in New Hampshire. This is based on what we call the marital presumption–basically, the spouse of a woman who gives birth is presumed to be the child’s other parent. This presumption works for husbands (who may or may not be the biological dad) and, in New Hampshire it also works for wives, who typically are not the biological mom (let’s put Reciprocal IVF aside for the purposes of this blog post).
But it doesn’t work like this in every state–a lesbian couple in Arkansas had to take this battle all the way to the U.S. Supreme Court because the State of Arkansas tried as hard as they could to keep the non-biological mom’s name off the birth certificate.
LGBTQ+ unfriendly states have had to accept same-sex marriage, but only because it was forced upon them. The battles still remain over rights that are complementary to marriage, such as legal parentage for children born to same-sex spouses.
Add in the fact that currently science does not allow us to turn eggs into sperm, and that means there will always, 100% of the time, be some other guy involved with the birth of a child to a female couple. This other guy is sometimes an anonymous donor, and sometimes a known donor. What is important is that his legal rights in relation to the child will vary from state to state (and from country to country, too).
So female couples having kids together are advised to have the non-biological mother do a second parent adoption. This was the recommendation before same-sex marriage became the law throughout the country, and this remains the recommendation even now.
Please contact us if you are interested in learning more about how a second parent adoption works in New Hampshire.
