LEARN

Yes. A second parent adoption is still important to make sure you have a secure legal connection to your child. A birth certificate is just a piece of paper, and a court has the power to order the birth certificate to be changed. One example of when that happened was in the case of In Re St. Pierre. This was a case from the New Hampshire Supreme Court. When genetic testing showed that the father was not actually the genetic father, the judge ordered the birth certificate to be changed. There’s no reason to think the same cannot happen to a female parent. This means your parentage, as listed on the birth certificate, is not secure. A second parent adoption is a good way to secure your parental status permanently.

Yes. With readily available consumer DNA testing, it’s not that difficult to track down the donor. Although you probably agreed to not seek out the donor when purchasing your vials, there’s nothing stopping your child from pursuing DNA testing when he/she becomes a teenager or adult. Biology is a strong trump card in today’s world of easy and affordable DNA testing. I know of at least one judge who takes the position that the anonymous donor is the actual legal parent. Why risk running into this hurdle when you can get a secure legal bond via an adoption?

I disagree with that lawyer’s advice. The American Bar Association, GLBTQ Legal Advocates & Defenders (GLAD), National Center for Lesbian Rights, National Family Law Advisory Council, Family Equality Council. Lambda Legal, National LGBT Bar Association, and the Academy of Adoption and Assisted Reproduction Attorneys all agree that adoption is an important step.

Typically, no home study is required. New Hampshire law refers to the homes study as an “assessment” and requires it as the default in every adoption case. I routinely request that this part of the process be skipped for second parent adoptions, and, to date, I have been successful in making that happen in every second parent adoption case.

While your wife is eligible to adopt, this will be a “stepparent adoption” because your wife was not part of the process of your child’s conception and birth. The legal process is similar for stepparent adoptions in New Hampshire.

The bad news is that New Hampshire law only allows for second parent adoptions by married couples. The good news is that there are alternative ways to get your partner’s name on the birth certificate. Reach out to me if you want to set up a free consult to talk about this.

These are two terms for the exact same type of adoption.

Yes. There was a lesbian couple who had two kids. The children were born in Massachusetts, and both birth certificates listed both mothers as parents. Later, the family moved to New Hampshire. The family never completed second parent adoptions. Unfortunately, the non-biological mother died. The biological mother sought to have her children receive social security survivor’s benefits and presented the children’s birth certificates as proof of the parent-child relationship. The Social Security Administration (SSA) refused to accept the birth certificates to prove the parental relationship. Ultimately, the SSA relented and granted the benefits, but the family could have avoided a stressful battle with the federal government by simply having completed second parent adoptions, as the SSA accepts adoption paperwork as proof of the legal parent child relationship. And the ultimate end result could have been different if the family had ended up in a different state. The lesson from this case is that if a second parent adoption is available to you, then go ahead and do it.

We can start the paperwork while you are pregnant, but we will need the baby’s full name, date of birth, and place of birth to complete the paperwork. If we get everything ready before the birth, I can fill in the last few pieces of information right after the birth. I will then mail you the court paperwork for your (notarized) signatures. Once the documents are returned to me, I can send everything off to the court.

While the New Hampshire courts are operational during the current pandemic, they have new procedures in place to make the process more contact-free. I think we can expect everything to take longer than it did in the past. As a guesstimate, I would say 2-6 months to complete the process once you have returned your court paperwork to me.

As two legal parents, you should plan on co-parenting. Both parents would have rights relative to child support. Adoption is a permanent legal bond.

Adoption records are sealed under New Hampshire law. This means access is restricted to the parties and attorneys only. Be prepared if you go to the courthouse to view the file–you will need to show a photo ID.

Adoption files are not open to the public in New Hampshire. The court is not even able to confirm that the paperwork was filed without confirming your identity. Try going to the courthouse with your photo ID.

It depends. I would need to know more details about your surrogacy arrangement to answer this question.

Yes. The law tends to protect the woman who gives birth the most. Only one of you is giving birth. I recommend that genetic mom proceed with a second parent adoption.

I would want to see your donor contract and birth certificate in order to assess the rights and responsibilities with regards to the donor. In many situations, the donor will not need to be involved at all. In some situations, the donor will be notified of the court process by mail but will not need to come to court. In rare situations, the donor will have to give up his rights in court, but I want to emphasize that this is a highly unusual situation. The best way to avoid getting your donor involved in the second parent adoption process is to seek legal advice before you get pregnant.

For a few years, the judges were reluctant to grant these adoptions. However, I was able to successfully challenge this (woohoo!!). I now submit a detailed 25 page memorandum of law with every second parent adoption petition. The memo of law explains exactly why these adoptions are necessary. I have been successful relying on this approach.

It may or may not happen. There is a bill in the Legislature right now that would clarify the second parent adoption laws. This bill was moving along favorably, but the Legislature has been out of session due to the COVID-19 pandemic. It’s unclear if the Legislature will meet again to finish its work on this bill.